As Vampire Academy wasn’t screened for critics some of our usual quality media outlets have not reviewed the film. This is usually also a surefire sign of disaster.
Based on the true story of the greatest treasure hunt in history the film focuses on seven museum directors, artists, architects, curators, and art historians who went to the front lines to return the masterpieces to their rightful owners. With the art hidden behind enemy lines, how could these guys hope to succeed?
Here’s a taster of some of what reviews there were…
Rolling Stone Vampire Academy review sample
The only thing scary about Vampire Academy is how bloody boring it is.
One idea, mixed with lame jokes, and stretched beyond coherence. Vampire Academy doesn’t need a review. It needs a stake in the heart.
Entertainment Weekly Vampire Academy review sample
The most annoying thing about Vampire Academy is that simply to watch this featherweight horror soap opera of mean-but-not-too-mean bloodsucking ingenues, you have to absorb an entire franchise cosmology — it’s popcorn escapism as homework.
If you’re not at the bull’s-eye center of the target audience, a movie like this one can suck the life out of you.
Hollywood Reporter Vampire Academy review sample
Neither the comedy advertised on posters (“They suck at school,” the tagline snickers) nor the self-aware adventure its makers seem to have intended, the film will likely turn to dust quickly in theaters despite its best-selling source material.
Hopes for a nascent franchise seem far-fetched.
Washington Post Vampire Academy review sample
The only thing that distinguishes this teen-magnet wannabe from its predecessors is how lazily it appears to have been slapped together.
The book “Vampire Academy” is the first in a series of six. We can only hope that doesn’t mean there will be five more movies.